A load I was delivering happened to take me through Ohio this weekend, where one of my favorite bloggers—Bethany Jo Lee of Project Whitespace– lives. We had corresponded and also chatted on the phone before, but never met in person. So, knowing I was going to be passing through her state, I got in touch with her and we arranged a visit.
It was so neat to finally meet this funny, kind, courageous, generous and helpful woman in person! I absolutely admire and adore her. She tackles her goals head on and wrestles them into submission. I want to be more like her!
We got to talking about blogging, and I expressed to her my frustration and how I feel like I’m drifting about lately. For the longest time, my blog had a clear goal I was shooting for and I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of some people through my efforts. I enjoyed connecting with people—indeed, it was through my blog and what I was attempting to do that I first caught notice of Bethany and it is how we became acquainted and, I’d like to think, friends.
Since I’ve gone back to work, that has all changed. I really don’t know what I’m doing anymore and I haven’t felt like I’ve had a goal for my blog and I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what to do with it. I’ve thought about writing about trucking and the trucking industry, but I already spend upwards of 70 hours a week working on the truck and I really don’t want to spend my free time writing about and thinking about trucking, too, unless it is in the capacity of telling folks fun and interesting anecdotes about things I’ve seen or experienced. Writing an industry blog would be soul sucking. As for my writing about where I’ve been and posting all those photos—well, it’s fun. BUT– travelogues can quickly become boring, as picture after picture of landscapes start to blur together. Not to mention, with my spotty internet, uploading all those pics is extremely time-consuming and difficult to maintain with any regularity (which is in large part why I haven’t done any where have I been posts lately). I still take lots of photos, but I haven’t been putting them up for the world to see.
Bethany asked me why I blog. “I like writing. I guess you could say it’s a creative outlet. Also, it is fun to connect with people, and I enjoy feeling like I’m helping people with what I write.”
We talked some more about it. I confessed that one theme in my life has cropped up regularly over the last few months, and that is a life reboot. My family has been so poor and down in the dumps and we have struggled so much over the years it isn’t funny. I desperately want to change that, and now that I’m working and Micah seems to be doing a lot better with his health, we have been discussing plans on just how we can do it. I told her I have thought about writing about that.
“But,” I admitted, “there is this part of me that is very afraid to blog about this stuff, because that part of me says, ‘What if you fail? What if you can never get out of the hole you’re in? What if you never make it anywhere?’”
Bethany sat up straight, looked me in the eyes and said, “I think you need to write this blog.”
In my heart of hearts, I know she is right.
So, consider this post fair warning. The format is going to change; the content is going to change. All of my old stuff will still be available via the archives, of course, for those who want to trip down memory lane. But my blog will be shifting and changing gears. I’m going to be baring my soul, sharing the struggles my family is dealing with, which I pretty much did already, though I didn’t much get into our finances and our hopes and dreams therein. I’m still going to write about my life and what I do and what I’m experiencing from time to time. It isn’t going to be all “we want to do X and we plan to do Y & Z to get there.” That’s a little too structured (and boring) for my taste. I may throw in the occasional essay, story or rant as a departure and break from writing about what needs to be fixed in our lives. There is a LOT that needs fixing. Don’t worry—there are all kinds of problems to fixate on in my life, so if there is something that doesn’t resonate with you, stick around, because I’ll be bound to write about something that does.
My hope is that through my blog, I can gain the insight and discipline I need to make major life changes. And I also hope that I can inspire and help other people, who see what my family and I are going through and can identify with it and maybe use some of our experiences—good or bad—to help them address situations they are in that may be similar.
I hope you like the changes that are coming, and I hope you stick with me. I appreciate my readers and have made some neat connections and learned a lot from you all. I thank you all in advance for your patience.
And thank you, Bethany, for the inspiration and figurative swift kick in the pants.