Hold the Phone!

In my excitement in coming up with new physical goals and new ways to motivate myself, I think I went a teensy bit too far.  Okay, maybe a LOT too far.

PunishmentIn one of my previous posts, I said that when I should make my goals each month, I should get a reward for doing so.  Makes sense.  Rewarding yourself for doing something hard is a good thing.  But I also said that there should be a punishment if I don’t make my goal.  After all, if there is going to be a positive consequence for making the goals, it seems like there should be a negative consequence for not fulfilling it.

Now, it seems folks have taken an objection to my idea for what my “punishment” should be.  I figured it would have to be something sufficiently vile that I would be loathe to do it, and therefore I would work that much harder to keep from having to deal with that negative consequence.


This isn’t the punishment I was referring to. But, I, ah…*cough cough* could probably stand to have him punish me. I’m sure it would be sufficiently horrible.
From: http://media.photobucket.com/image/man%20with%20whip/BlueBoi256/whip.png

Huh?  What was I saying?  Sorry, I got distracted for a moment there.


My idea was that if I didn’t make a monthly goal, I would pay $20 to a charity/cause that I found absolutely reprehensible.  You know the kind.  The ones that actively try to turn women into baby making machines and actively tries to destroy the environment, you name it.  When I came up with this idea, the thought made me intensely squeamish and the idea of actually giving money to one of these places really is quite awful.  Great!  I thought.  Then it is sufficiently vile and perfect for a negative consequence!  But, even with that thought, the idea of it still really makes me wanna gag.

And when my readers pointed out there had to be some better way, I got to thinking about it.  Truthfully, the idea of handing over $20 to an organization that does these things makes me sick to my stomach.  Other than I am so wholeheartedly opposed to what they believe in, I couldn’t place why the intense gut reaction to the idea.

I finally figured it out.  The basis of my objection (and I think it’s behind the objection of some of my readers, too) can probably be found in the most basic tenet of nearly all religious and philosophical beliefs.  The Golden Rule.  This can also be thought as Do No Harm.   If I give money to a cause that is trying to make late term abortions illegal in all cases, even to save the life of a mother, I am essentially helping this organization kill women.  That is definitely not my idea of the Golden Rule or not harming people.  Most of these causes that I abhor are inherently harmful.  I imagine some organizations believe they are doing the right thing because of what some ancient book told them to do, but as I understand it, Jesus was a firm believer of the Golden Rule himself.  And I imagine some organizations KNOW that what they are doing is hurting other people, but they don’t give a damn (like political organizations that work to disenfranchise black and latino voters, for example).

So, now that I’ve realized this, I can’t go down this path.  This flat out won’t work as a negative consequence.  I don’t need the negative karma biting me on the ass down the road.

Now what?

Well….I’ve thought about doing some things that would bring on personal humiliation as a potential negative consequence.  One idea I had was going to the Portland Gay Pride Parade and joining in topless, all while painted bright rainbow colors.  It is not illegal for women to be topless in Portland.   This idea would be very embarrassing for me, I think.  But…in the end, after I get over my initial nerves,  I think I might actually have a good time, so… nope.  Probably won’t work.

I also thought about doing something similar, except painting myself my school colors, going to a Vikings football game with nothing but shorts and viking helmet shaped pasties…  But again, after my initial freaking out about being surrounded by thousands of people who are seeing my boobs, I think I would settle down and actually have fun at the game.  So…nope.  That wouldn’t work, either.

I thought about going to a nude beach, since I normally avoid going to such a place for sheer embarrassment.  I don’t care if other folks want to show off their dangly bits, but I don’t like to reveal mine to the general public.  But, I don’t think the people there would care a rat’s ass about me being naked, and aside from my own body issues and discomfort, that just isn’t sufficiently vile.

So the nakedness thing, which is usually a huge scary type of thing to do in public for most people, probably wouldn’t work as negative consequences for not making a monthly goal (and might actually end up being positive experiences instead).

I’m stumped.  What is something that I could do as a negative consequence, i.e. “punishment”, if I don’t make a monthly goal?

Maybe I should scrap the idea.  But then I would feel like I gave up and be ticked off for not being creative enough.


Am I dating myself by making a Leave It To Beaver reference?

Hm.  Maybe Icould be like June Cleaver and be all miss mommy homemaker for a day or something.  That is so TOTALLY not me.  Blech.  Here, dear, let me refresh your martini while I walk around in 3 inch heels, a skirt, lipstick and perfectly done hair, all while I’m cleaning the house and cooking your favorite dinner for you….  Yup.  Definitely not me.  *shudder*

Or maybe I could shave my head.  I’m not wild about the idea of being shorn.  That would certainly make that a candidate.

One of my readers, thank you my lovely Jen, suggested that I go out and do karaoke one night and have somebody ELSE pick the song!  Excellent suggestion!  But this might count as a Do No Harm thing, as I’m sure me singing karaoke is sure to rupture somebody’s eardrums.

I mentioned in one of my previous comments on the other post that I could be my daughter’s slave for a day.  She is creatively evil when she wants to be.  I’m sure she would make me do all sorts of silly, awful things and have a blast doing it.  Of course, then my “punishment” would end up some great quality Mom and Willow bonding time, which isn’t so punishing after all.  But still.  I like this as a candidate.

My daughter, the fiend.

My daughter, the girl with a fiendish imagination.

Any other suggestions?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?

3 thoughts on “Hold the Phone!

  1. Wait! I should have a say On how you should get your punishment! I am after all the Sadist in the marraige. I think you should wait on me hand and foot all day, while making sure you make me my spam Musibai. I know, you should also be made to at seaweed. But if you want the other with the boy toy, you could do that also:)

    • Honey, as per usual, you have it all backwards again. You are a masochist. Ma- so- chist. You have to be, to be married to me! 🙂

      Eating seaweed, while definitely a vile consequence, would literally make me puke. Not so sure I want to go down that road. *shudder*

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